Should politicians’ sex lives matter?


Last Saturday, Hermain Cain “suspended” his presidential candidacy amid a torrent of accusations of sexual misconduct and a long-running extramarital affair. Cain fought valiantly for weeks as a seemingly endless line of women came forth with allegations of sexual harassment and other trespasses, but when Ginger White brought to light a 14-year affair with the candidate, the tide was too strong and Cain was washed away. Herman Cain was a popular candidate — holding the lead at one time according to many polls — and his supporters are a diehard bunch. Many cried foul, saying that a candidate’s personal life shouldn’t matter, and that voters should only focus on the issues. They said Herman Cain’s past is none of our business.

But are they right? Most people seem to think not, as evidenced by Cain’s plummeting poll numbers. While it’s true that Herman Cain’s extracurricular activities don’t directly affect his ability to govern, they do speak to his character. It seems very likely that he did sexually harass and/or have affairs with at least some of these women, which shows that he’s unfaithful to his wife. And by covering it up and lying about it, he’s proved himself dishonest. Why would the American people vote for someone they know to have such glaring character faults?

Then again, one can’t deny the fact that the punishment for fooling around is hardly meted out evenly or fairly. Bill Clinton was impeached for his affair with Monica Lewinsky, but didn’t lose the presidency. Neither did serial philanderer John F. Kennedy, who to this day is one of the country’s most beloved presidents. Newt Gingrich, the new Republican front-runner, has had several affairs, but that doesn’t seem to be hurting his chances at the moment. In fact, he’ll probably win the nomination.

So why is everyone ganging up on Cain? It seems that timing has a lot to do with it. Bill Clinton was a popular president already in his second term when the Monica Lewinsky scandal broke, so ousting him from the White House was something few people had an appetite for, especially with a strong economy. People just didn’t want to rock the boat. Kennedy was president at a time when there was an implicit understanding with the media that the president’s sexual escapades were off limits. Reporters turned a blind eye, and few people knew about the president’s affairs until long after his death. Newt Gingrich’s affairs are old news, and thus don’t have the shock value of Cain’s recently uncovered dalliances. Unfortunately for Herman Cain, there are a few characteristics to his scandals that don’t play favorably for him:

  1. He’s not entrenched like Clinton, so it’s easy to cast him aside. The country is not invested in Herman Cain yet, and at this point it looks like we never will be.
  2. These scandals just came to light, so they’re big news: such big news, in fact, that they easily trump everything else about him as a public figure.
  3. The allegations are numerous. News runs on a 24 hour cycle, and the public has a short memory, but not when new details and new accusations come out seemingly every week.

So should Herman Cain’s sexual life play into the country’s decision of whether or not to elect him? In my opinion, yes, for the reasons stated above. Namely, that he has proved himself a liar and a cheater, and if given the choice between someone I know to be a liar (Cain) and someone I strongly suspect of being a liar (any other politician) I’m going to go with the guy who at least has a chance of being honest. It also doesn’t help Cain that his policies are unpopular with much of the country, and that he’s made several gaffes that suggest he has a tenuous grasp on the issues. Put all of that together and it’s no wonder the guy is toast.

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We have new hosting!

You may have noticed a few glitches with the site over the last 12 hours or so because we’ve been in the process of switching web hosts. Our new hosting is much more powerful, so you should notice faster load times and better performance across the board going forward. I realize this is probably only interesting to other web geeks like myself, but I thought I’d share the news anyway :)

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30% off on Friends Reunited in September

Let’s make this post short and sweet: through the end of the month, you can get 30% off any subscription to UK dating site Friends Reunited when you use coupon code SEPT. Friends Reunited is the UK’s third largest dating site, with more than 1.6 million members. It’s free to join, but to get full use of the site you’ll have to pay for a subscription. Do it with this coupon code, though, and you’ll only have to pay for 70% of a subscription. Click here to redeem your coupon code.

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AshleyMadison.com now has 10 million members

I just stumbled across an interesting article that I thought I’d share with all of you. It seems AshleyMadison.com, a dating site where for married people looking to have an affair, has reached 10 million members. The founder of Ashley Madison, Noel Biderman, who happens to married with two kids, estimates that the potential market for his company is over 100 million people worldwide. It seems they’ve only scratched the service.

What do you think about Ashley Madison? Obviously, most people would agree that having an affair is morally wrong, but how do you feel about a company profiting from this human vice? I for one think cheating is despicable, but I have no problem with this site continuing to exist. As they say, it’s a free country.

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The World’s Worst Dating Sites – Part 2: RudeFinder.com

It’s time for Part 2 of our million-part series, World’s Worst Dating Sites. If you missed Part 1, you can read it here. This month’s entry into World’s Worst Dating Sites is RudeFinder, a site with only 1 positive review out of 15 — and the positive review sounds fake, though I can’t prove it so it stays.

Nearly every review of RudeFiner.com complains about fake profiles, bots, and scams to get members to upgrade to paid memberships. Many people also had payment issues, or couldn’t unsubscribe in a timely manner. The one positive review is suspiciously positive, with glib, exclamation point-laden praise and zero negatives listed. By contrast, the other reviews list nothing but negatives.

In fact, RudeFinder is so bad it inspired what might be the longest review on our site (if it’s not the longest, it’s certainly in the top 3). The author, “siegementality”, notes that most of the profiles are fake, and that women who claim to live in one area have pictures and other items on their profiles that make it plain they live somewhere else. He says the only real profile he found belonged to a woman “obsessed with death” with “every STD known to man” (what a catch!). He summarizes by saying the site is nothing more than “free hd porn.”

The verdict? Stay away from RudeFinder.com! If you’re looking for a hookup / adult dating site, UpForit has much better reviews.

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July Update

Greetings faithful readers,

I’ve been traveling a lot this month so updates have been sporadic, but I just wanted to give you an idea of where we’re at and what’s on tap. We are very pleased to see how much the volume of reviews has grown. We’re now seeing an average of 3-5 reviews submitted per day, which is up from about 1 per week just a couple months ago. Unfortunately, the vast majority of those reviews are negative (I guess there are a lot of bad dating sites out there) but negative reviews are just as useful as positive ones, if not more so — they let you know which sites to stay away from!

In the next few weeks, we’ll be building a closer integration between user profiles in the forum and reviews, so that you can see when you’re logged into the site and get some basic info on reviews submitted, forum posts, etc. We also have a coupon section on the radar, though progress on that has been kind of slow. Stay tuned!

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Happy 4th of July!

Howdy y’all,

I’ll be heading out for the 4th of July, so if you run into any problems or have any requests, please just leave them in the forum and I’ll respond when I get back. I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday!

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The World’s Worst Dating Sites – Part 1: Richmen.com

Editor’s Note: I’ve noticed over the past few weeks that there are a few sites in the dating site review section that consistently get bad reviews, and so as a public service I decided to create this blog post series to draw attention to the these sites and the bad reputation they are garnering on DateSphere. One might ask why we list these sites at all if I know they’re bad, to which I have two good replies:

1. If we took these sites down, how would people know they’re bad? When you search for “richmen.com reviews” on Google the first page that comes up is our Richmen.com Review Page, which offers several reviews warning people away from the site.
2. DateSphere is a dating site reference,  and a good reference needs to be comprehensive, including both the good and the bad, or else it’s incomplete.

OK, enough preamble…

Richmen.com is currently the worst reviewed site on DateSphere. Out of 17 reviews, only 2 are favorable. The most common complaint is that the site tries to pass itself off as a sugar daddy site where women can meet rich men (hence the name, duh), but in reality is a “porn wannabe website” with “nasty, trashy, vulgar, disrespectful horny men who want to do nothing but pass around disease by having as much sex as they can with whomever is dumb enough to do it” (ouch!). Others have said they had trouble canceling their account. It’s also worth mentioning that the only positive reviews fail to mention all of the sex / vulgarity accusations that the negative reviews mention, which makes me question their authenticity. You never know though, maybe these two women actually had a positive experience.

There’s really not that much information out there about Richmen.com, which suggests it’s a fairly new site, and if they continue to have this many dissatisfied customers, they probably won’t be around much longer. Overall, it sounds like Richmen.com is playing on many women’s desire to have a rich boyfriend or husband, but isn’t offering anything remotely like what it promises. As for why the site itself would be so far off what they claim — i.e. why does it have to be a “porn wannabe site”? Couldn’t they just make a regular dating site? — that’s anyone’s guess. If you still want to try Richmen.com, at least now you’ve been fairly warned…

Caveat emptor!

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OkTrends outdoes themselves – best post I’ve seen

Anyone who’s read this blog with any kind of regularity knows that I really like the OkTrends blog. Well, I just stumbled upon the best blog post I’ve seen from them to date (yes it was written back in August, but I just rediscovered it and wanted to share; get off my back!).

In essence, they’ve analyzed hundreds of thousands of profile pictures from OkCupid and drawn some fascinating conclusions about the technical aspects of a good dating profile picture. Everything from camera brands to aperture to time of day is carefully analyzed, with concrete tips on what you can do to put your best foot forward in your online dating profile picture. Definitely worth a read!

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Help us grow!

We’ve seen some phenomenal growth since launching this site at the beginning of the year, going from 0′s in everything you can think of (a brand new site) to hundreds of reviews, forum posts and registered users. But of course we want to get even bigger and better, and you can help us do it! How, you ask? Well, if you’ve found our dating site reviews or forum helpful, you can do any of the following:

Here’s to more growth in 2011, thank you for your continued support!

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